BIBLES FALLING APART
In the years of care giving my own children I learned to put my trust in the Lord. He led me through the hard times and the challenges it placed on Mike and my marriage. How did I stay together?
A quote by Charles Spurgeon that “A Bible that’s falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn’t”.
I owned several Bibles that were falling apart because I desperately needed Him. I clung to the Words inspired by the Holy Spirit. In the Lord is everything I ever needed/wanted! All the; Joy I need is in Him, Hope, Peace, Love, and Grace I allowed the Lord to change me from the inside out as I relied on His Grace. He changed my desires and my priorities to line up with His ways and purposes.
I self-diagnosed myself with PTSD ( post traumatic disorder) because of the years of never knowing if this was Jackie or Corey’s last day. They suffered; seizures, tests/spinal taps, frequent pneumonia’s, ambulance rides, and hospitalizations. I remember well that fear the year Jackie went into the hospital Good Friday and Corey on that Sunday. I had many reasons to panic and fear but I learned to put on that garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.
P raising
T he
S avior
D aily
The words “your husband has taken a turn for the worse” ended the security of my 46 year old marriage. I poured myself into my care giving jobs. I took several trips; a cruise, walked where Jesus walked in Israel, and followed the footsteps of Paul in Turkey and Greece. That prayer, “what’s next Papa” came back to me as I still kicked around in my 2144 square foot house. At least I wasn’t alone – Tina my daughter and Jesse my grandson lived with me. I could easily say when Tina gets her own apartment I can sell this old house. This was a big step as Tina has special needs but I applied her for an apartment in faith. Jesse bought a house he was saving for and my house was empty within months. Now, the challenge do I sell this old house? The words to a song sang by Danny Gokey seemed to be an answer from the Lord in my next.
Tell Your Heart to Beat Again
You’re shattered like you’ve never been before. The life you knew in a thousand pieces on the floor. And words fall short in times like these when this world drives you to your knees. You think you’re never gonna get back to the you that used to be.
Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in. Let the shadows fall away. Step into the light of grace. Yesterday’s a closing door. You don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been. And tell your heart to beat again.
Beginning. Just let that word wash over you. It’s alright now. Love’s healing hands have pulled you through. So get back up, take step one. Leave the darkness, feel the sun. ‘Cause your story’s far from over and your journey’s just begun.
Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in. Let the shadows fall away. Step into the light of grace. Yesterday’s a closing door. You don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been. And tell your heart to beat again.
Let every heartbreak and every scar be a picture that reminds you who has carried you this far. ‘Cause love sees farther than you ever could in this moment heaven’s working everything for your good.
Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in. Let the shadows fall away. Step into the light of grace. Yesterday’s a closing door. You don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been. And tell your heart to beat again. And tell your heart to beat again. Your heart to beat again. Beat again.
Oh, so tell your heart to beat again
“Yesterday’s a closing door You don’t live there anymore say goodbye to where I’ve been? What? How could I sell the home that I had lived 30 years and raised my children? Plus all the remodeling that went into it? Tell my heart to beat again? Could that mean I could / would ever marry again? I would have to ponder that in my grieving heart. For now I was moving – downsizing into a small ranch home. Work became my social life, church my needed support, and Special Touch Ministry (to people with disabilities) my passion.
Slowly, I think my heart was beating again – as one day I asked the Lord about that Next? If I am to have a next – husband? Make him a Godly man and a man who has a heart for special needs people. Enough said put that on hold! Stay tuned for What’s Next Papa!
I Challenge you to ask “What’s Next Papa? He holds your future!
Grace house seven 
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