What’s Next Papa? Part 5

Those who wait upon the Lord He shall renew their strength. They shall mount up on wings as eagles . They shall run and not grow weary. They shall walk and not faint. Teach me Lord, Teach me Lord to WAIT!

I learned the above praise chorus years ago. Singing it with my eyes closed at a service one day, I opened my eyes to see the word WAIT on the screen flashing like a neon sign! The Lord was surely teaching me to WAIT.

My favorite scripture is Isaiah 40:31 KJV “But those who hope on the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings of eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.”

In the years of caring for my children I experienced renewed strength as I went many sleepless nights. I was at the end of myself as I watched my daughter regress. Jackie, diagnosed with a neurological degenerative disease, was at the point where she had lost her ability to talk. She would run around the house aimlessly and there were nights her body wouldn’t settle down to sleep. Mike and I would put her in between us to keep her from running around the house. Only by the strength given to me by the Lord could I continue to take care of her in our home until she passed away in 1991.

Wait means to be aware through all our senses of what is occurring around us and discerning the right time to do the next thing. I learned to put my; hope, expectations, and trust in the Lord. I had a history or a deposit in me of the Lord’s being with me so I expected to receive from Him. So, when I became a widow in 2015 I drew on that strength as I cried out to the Lord in my loneliness.

He met me with the scripture from Hebrews 13:5b Amplified Bible “for (God) Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. (I will) not (I will) not, (I will) not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let (you) down (relax My hold on you)! (Assuredly not!)”

C.S Lewis in his book, “A Grief Observed” wrote about the grief of losing his wife – he understood that their time together “had reached its proper perfection”. I needed that perspective as I felt God was preparing me for my next The resurrection life I received from God is not boring but an adventurous journey greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God had strengthened me and led me though five years of being a widow. I was able to take adventurous trips to Israel and Turkey. He spoke to me about the timing on retiring.

The Lord was speaking to me about dating. My journal entries reflects the emotions I was going through at that time

8/29/20 – First date!

8/30/20 – Heavenly Father, I do not know how to process this! Dennis and I talked on the phone for 2 hours! What does a friendship/relationship with a man look like? 2 days later I wrote in my journal, “too fast, too slow, TOO, TOO awkward! Conversation? Dating? (It has been 5 years) What would sharing affection look like? What is his love language? So much to learn? I need to get to know him but if he gets to know me would he even like me? The fears ended as we shared and removed the onion skins layer after layer. As we talked it made me vulnerable and exposed.


I love telling the story of how the Lord worked on my behalf – He showed Himself strong and faithful all my life. Dennis and I know God has brought us together.

Isaiah 40:28 NIV “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is an everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary and His understanding no one can fathom. HE GIVES STRENGTH TO THE WEARY.” This is a good word for all of us who have become weary in our situations. So many things have our attention; care giving loved ones, bad reports from doctors, financial problems, broken marriages, and loss of loved ones. Let’s draw strength from those around us who can cheer each other on with their experiences. Comment, if you have found His divine help to bring you through the storms of life.


One response to “What’s Next Papa? Part 5”

  1. What a beautiful blend of pain, hope, mystery and love you wonderfully share with us. I appreciate your honesty in telling all the detailed ways God met you in your life and am encouraged to keep looking for Him even in my own messes. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

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